Uncomfortable | adjective - causing or feeling unease or awkwardness. Synonyms: ill at ease, nervous, tense, self-conscious, embarrassed, disturbed, upset, anxious.⠀
Traycen’s been asking to go back to the gym every day for the past week. It’s not that I was ashamed or felt unwelcome or any of that. The only word to describe the overwhelming feeling that came over me when I:⠀
1) walked into the scene of the crime as the words “you need to get mom, now!” were being said—about me. ⠀
2) was told that my kids “just lose it at the one hour mark”⠀
3) was asked if there’s “any way dad can come get them” while I work out so they wouldn’t have to be there so long - then further examined about why not 🙄 ⠀
4) was questioned about the boys’ daily routine and why they might be so tired.⠀
I don’t think any harm was meant. It was probably just a verbal troubleshooting survey given to all parents when their kids have a hard time in childcare for the evening. Probably. ⠀
Getting bushwhacked with a heap of analyzation and nitpicking is just really freaking uncomfortable. The disciplinary action after the fact is uncomfortable. Thinking about being judged (although I was just butthurt and probably not being judged) was uncomfortable.
Okay, snapping out of my feelings in 1, 2, 3 *snaps*⠀
I’ve been doing total body workouts at home, but we went back to the gym today after a week off. I only had to do a 3 mile run on the dreadmill, so it was a pretty quick visit. Just enough to ease them back in. No bad report. And when I asked if they’d behaved better today, I got an modest nod. Progress.⠀
I’ve taken solace in the stroller parking room. They act like plum fools in there, and make me WORK to get them to and fro—but I’d take these plums over and over every single time. Last was my first time feeling THAT form of uncomfortable, but I know it’s just the training wheels on a lifetime moments to come.
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